Saturday, September 20, 2008

Got Gas?

I'm having a difficult time with this.

I'm sitting here in over-priced, over-taxed Califorina--where we have oil rigs off the coast in the Pacific and in other people's back yards--wondering one thing.

HOW in Bixby's Nine Hells is there a GASOLINE SHORTAGE!?!

How much further does America need to bend over for the middle eastern countries who've all but told us to "F**k off and die" to cram their bull up our proverbial butts?!

Last I checked, Texas was known for its oil production.

So, I suppose I, as a silly American, am wondering just what the heck we're doing that we're running out of gasoline! The $4.25 I pay per gallon has to be going somewhere. I can guarantee it's not for upgrades to the gas station. It's going into some oil tycoons pocket.

Yes, Mr. President, I'm looking at you.

And your cabinet.

It's no secret, there. But, for crying out loud! A gas shortage?! Really!? What was this war about in the first place? Oh, right... Afghanistan hosted the Al Quida which came into our country and killed a few hundred innocent people.

Which makes sense that we would invade Iraq.

Because, ya know... they're so close in location. It's an easy mistake.

So, what are these poor people in Tennessee doing? Probably wishing that America would call its proctologist to have its head removed. Thank GOD the elections are soon. Not that McCain or Obama will necessarily fix the problem. But, in either case, I won't feel like my President has the brain of a carrot.

Which could be an insult to the carrot.

I love America. I think Bush has done some wonderful things... just not lately. And, sadly, any respect I had for him is now gone. He's done too many boneheaded things for me to feel confident in saying I support him.

I support the country. Not the one holding the reigns.

Please, though, don't assassinate him? The Vice President isn't much better...

Let's just focus on the right war--the one that resolves the problem of America getting her rear end handed to her seven years ago. SEVEN FREAKING YEARS!

...and we've got a gas shortage...

Lemme think here...

*Enter into a needless war with a country who wasn't a real threat at the time
*Waste taxpayers' money by keeping our troops in said war
*Keep feeding the American populace bull about how this war will help the economy
*Do ABSO-FREAKIN'-LUTELY NOTHING when the gas prices go from $1.75 per gallon to $4.75 per gallon
*Blame said increase ON THE WAR THAT WE STARTED
*Suddenly find ourselves in a gasoline crisis "because we're at war with our oil suppliers."

Here's an idea.

Get the heck out of Iraq. Let their government collapse in on itself and let them rebuild on their own. Utilize the oil that's in our own back yard while we develop alternate forms of energy. Hybrids are a good example. I'm pretty sure these scientist that waste money on needless research would be able to come up with a way to use ethenol alcohol for fuel.

I'm sick of hearing, "We can't..."

Of course we can't.

Because we're not a people who like to leave our little comfort zones. Get a divergent thinker on the team and watch those "can't's" turn into "can's."

Unless, of course, they're a Republican.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Who's the Pig

I'm not usually in agreement with PETA. In fact, PETA, to me, means "People Eating Tasty Animals." But, sometimes they do things that make sense and you can really get behind. Like the concept of putting infertility drugs in bird seed so that the pigeon problem slowly disappears. Good idea.

And like in this case...

I'd like to meet the man who thinks it's really okay to shove a metal rod up a sow's rear when she won't move. I'd like to meet the man who thinks it's really okay to beat on a pig because he's upset with the world. I'd like to meet the man who thinks it's really okay to treat a pig like it can't hurt or feel or anything.

Because if I meet that man....I'll shove a metal rod up his rectum, beat him senseless and let him know it's okay because ... he's stupid. I'm toning down the language for this blog. I'd like people to be able to read it during working hours.

Just because a pig can't talk doesn't mean it can't feel. And any person who thinks it's okay to hurt an animal just for fun or just because "it's better than hurting a human," really needs psychiatric help.

I love the part where the undercover PETA agent is asked if he knows who PETA is... Yeah, you're gonna have to follow the link on this one, babies. There is so much in this story that makes me mad that I can't make a cohesive rant out of it.



Ideas for how to fix the problem...which I'm sure you probably can guess after reading this article. "It's just an animal!" Yeah? Well, that baby you're torturing is just a baby. "That's different! It's a human!" Really? Then why is it legal to kill them? "It isn't!" I site for you the abortion laws. "They're not human before their born!" Oh? What are they? Animals?

Full circle.

No matter how you slice it...full circle. Humans are animals and some animals are more human than humans. It's not okay to cause pain because you're pissed off at the world and can't take it out on the person you think deserves it. It's not okay to kill babies. It's not okay to hurt animals. It's not okay to kill. If you disagree, check your moral compass.

I say as I know you all are whining, "But you're for the death penalty, RA!" Darn tootin'. If you're stupid enough to kill someone, I believe in an eye for an eye. Forget over-populating prisons. Kill the idiot.

I'll leave you with this fun thought.

I have a friend who told me she disagreed with my ideas on the death penalty. We shouldn't just kill them in the same manner in which they killed someone (which, I think, would be an excellent deterrent). No! We should grind them up in a meat grinder and send the meat to the starving Third World countries. It would solve two problems.

I'm inclined to think she might be right...

Oh, and if they don't move toward that meat grinder, be sure to ram a metal rod up their butts. That should get them to move...and don't worry about the lube.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

All Time Low...

First of all... pardon for the lack of rant yesterday. I was pretty much sick. I think I ate a bad pear or something. Maybe my disturbing dreams are finally catching up with me. Who knows. Point is, I missed the rant, so today, you get a doozy.

Apparently, the best news comes from Florida. The land of real crime. Where hardened criminals are in prison for sex, lies, and drugs--and, apparently, showing 4-5 inches of underwear from the waistband of their pants.

Yes, that's right.

The Fashion Police have struck again. Only, this time, it's actually criminal and not just a nifty phrase. So, this teenager lands his butt in jail overnight because he's wearing saggy pants.

I hate saggy pants.

To quote an ad from an MMO-based radio station: "It is considered excessive self disclosure to tell everyone [in the city] what kind of panties you are wearing." In my opinion, it's excessive self-disclosure for me to see your rear end hanging out of your pants. And, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I hope you trip. In front of your friends.

Moving on.

Apparently, there's no real crime going on in Florida and the officers need to show kids why people dislike cops. Of course, the ACLU is singing on this one: "It will result in racial profiling!"

Know how to stop it?


The article says the "style" started in prison because of ill-fitting uniform pants and no belts. To my knowledge, that style started in prison to indicate who was the sheep.

Oh, yeah. I went there.

Seriously, though. Do the cops in Florida have nothing better to do than eat donuts and arrest teenagers for their lack of fashion sense? No wonder there's so much drug trafficking going on there. No one is interested in stopping the "War on Drugs." The illegals that enter into Florida are welcomed there! The big problem, really, is how low your pants sit on your hips.

It's a crime...

How about arresting the fashion designers for coming up with pants that are made to fit like that? Meh. Waste of time.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Bring Out the OJ

Just when you thought you were done with court room drama, OJ Simpson waltzed his way back into your living room.

First of all: Whether you think he's guilty of a double homicide or not, he's still a person. Since he was acquitted and not found innocent, there is still room for doubt. But, 12 people couldn't come to a unanimous decision and that, my friends, is how the American legal system works. A jury of peers (as provided under the Bill of Rights) listens to two sets of attorneys try to convince them that the accused is either guilty or innocent. It can be a fun prospect if you're a sado-masochist or are at all interested in analysis of facts and truth.

I'll let you wonder which one I am.

Second of all: If someone steals your stuff and plans to sell it, there are procedures in place to get it back. Speaking from experience, those procedures don't work. Unless there's a movie camera on the cop's shoulder. Even then, I have my doubts.

Third of all: If any average citizen were to bust down a door to reclaim their own stolen property, brandishing a handgun (for which he possessed a license), I dare say no one would bat an eye. In fact, I think he may actually receive a medal of commendation.

Instead, Mr. Simpson received an arrest warrant.

"He was stealing sports memorabilia!" the prosecution wailed.

He was reclaiming HIS stuff. The last time I checked, OJ Simpson was...a football player. He was a running back. I would think he would probably have some sports memorabilia related to, say, the Buffalo Bills or the 49'ers. Just a guess. So, the people in Las Vegas who were "assaulted" by Mr. Simpson and five other guys (four of which have changed their stories and turned states' evidence, I might add...anyone else smell something rotten in Denmark?)

I understand you have to prove the stuff was yours before you reclaim it. We learn this in school. But, you know what? Just like in school, when someone takes your stuff--you take it back. Erase, if you can, the previous trial. Start fresh--just like the jury has to. Do you honestly believe that OJ Simpson would bust into a hotel room with five other guys, allegedly brandishing guns, and demand to take only the stuff that belonged to him--IF IT DIDN'T?! He's dumb, but not that dumb.

Give it up, folks. Seriously. There are so many better things to do with your time than try to get OJ Simpson behind bars for something you can't even PROVE he did! I'm sorry, you can believe he killed Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ronald Goldman all you want. There is no solid PROOF that he did. There is circumstantial evidence. There is a messy crime scene. There were errors. You want to know why Simpson was acquitted? Shoddy police work.

You want to know why he's, once again, infesting your living rooms with his smug mug? Shoddy police work. Just stop already. How is this even news worthy?! Who in Bixby's Nine Hells even CARES? Half of America thinks he was guilty the first time around, the other half of America thinks he was innocent...and the third half doesn't give two sticks!

Whatever. I'm done with OJ. I was done with OJ after the third week of the first trial. I got bored with the prosecution trying to convince me that one man killed two people the way they had it set up. In-friggin-possible. Even for a running back. No dice. Next theory please?

Do I think he did it? Maybe... but, I'm pretty positive he knows exactly what and how it went down and he's not sharing it for reasons beyond us.

Do I think this case in Las Vegas is legit? You're joking, right? Armed robbery and kidnapping--I don't think so. Show me the gun. According to the defense, the prosecution's "recorded conversation" of the event proves th---

Wait, what?

There was an audio recording of the deal? Did Mr. Simpson know about this recording?! *sniff* Set up, much?