In Memoriam

Remember.

Schools Know More than Doctors!

Yes, it's true. School officials now know more about the workings of your own body than your doctor. At least, that's what SMU seems to think. This video article about a young girl who won a cheerleading scholarship really got my goat...

And we all know what happens when my goat gets got.

Basically, for those of you afraid to follow links, Jamie Burns has a heart condition not covered by the school's insurance. She wears a pacemaker to correct the problem. This isn't a "new" condition. She's had it for a very long time. She's been cheering for a very long time. Her cardiologist (ya know, the guy that messes with your heart and has a degree specifically to do so) cleared her for activity. She should "avoid contact sports, but cheerleading is okay."

The school said no.

She signed a waiver saying that if something were to happen to her, she wouldn't sue the school.

The school said no.

But, they gave her a scholarship...which she gets to keep. But she doesn't get to cheer. She can clap on the sidelines. She can't do any of the movements associated with cheering.

What's the point?

In her own words, she's being punished for nothing. My guess is she was better than the squad leader and the coach had her favorites. Jamie wasn't one of them. Kinda like that Little League kid, huh? You're too good, Jaime. You make others have to work harder! Curse you!

Apparently, the school (who justifies this by saying she's potentially endangering other people) knows what's best for her and her health. Not her cardiologist. But, apparently, the school also knows they're doing something wrong...because they didn't yoink her scholarship. She gets to keep it...

I thought if you weren't able to participate in the sport, you didn't get the money? Isn't that how a scholarship works? Something's rotten in Texas...

Now, I've had colleges deny me things that I was passionate about. Of course, like the sheep I am, I didn't fight it too much. Not until they insisted I had a bad attitude for which I should be expelled. The idea of having a lawyer make them pay me for attending their college, however, didn't appeal to them, so they left me alone. A small cheer from the deans arose when I accepted my diploma.

But, I digress.

The scenario the sports administrator gave was one of the most unlikely events. If she were to be the base of a pyramid and collapse, she could endanger everyone above her. First of all. That scenario can happen to any cheerleader. I've seen it. Second of all. It's called "SPOTTER" for a reason. Anyone above the second tier relies on a spotter to catch them. Third of all. Cheerleading is a sport. There is risk of injury. If you're that concerned with liability, why have a sports program?

Good grief! Jamie's quite healthy and quite active. She's in excellent physical condition, from what I can see, and she strives to make herself better. And you want to bench her?! She's probably the best cheerleader you will ever have...and that's why you want her on the bench.

Or ... is it something else...

Like the fact she seems to be black.

Oh, yes... I drew the race card...

Before making arbitrary decisions about someone else's life and second-guessing someone who knows more about their field than you do, really consider how it looks to the rest of the world--ya know, the people who may actually have been considering your university...

Fat Jeans? Exercise!

Yeah, you read the headline correctly--if you're fat, 3-4 hours of moderate exercise per day will help keep you from being overweight, according to a new scientific study.

Yes.

That's right. A new study showed that people with a family history of weight problems (aka "the fat gene") were no more likely to gain weight than those without a history, if they exercised.

Thank you, Einstein.

When, exactly, did America become so stupid? It had to be after the Victorian era. Probably the '60's when everyone experimented with the mind-altering drugs. It had to have been. I've read the poetry and prose from the Victorian era. It's heady and vibrantly descriptive. Exact and vivid verbage that painted not only pictures, but art. Read H.P. Lovecraft, sometime.

Back to the point.

OF COURSE, exercise "blocks" weight gain! It's sorta already been proven that if you get up off your lazy butt and do something, you won't turn into a fat slob. If people stop playing video games and watching TV and maybe go for a walk or a bike ride--rollerblade, skateboard, swim--they not only would find themselves enriched with fresh air and vitamin D, but also healthier!

People have, since the dawn of time, known that activity keeps them from gaining weight. No matter if you're "predisposed" to gaining weight, if you GET UP AND MOVE, you won't! Well, as long as you don't cram your face with twinkies and McDonald's you won't.

Good grief, people. Did we really need a scientific study to learn something we already knew?! Just how stupid are we? Don't answer that. I'm not sure I even want to know...

Life or Death

I'm very much pro-death penalty.

If you do something incredibly stupid like murder someone, you should, subsequently, suffer the same fate. This "criminal rights" crap drives me nuts. Stop victimizing the criminal. Victimize the victim. It was not Paris Talley's fault that her mother is, apparently, a freaking slut who doesn't know the father of her child. It was not Paris Talley's fault that her parents were psychotic and decided to argue over her paternal traits. It certainly was not Paris Talley's idea to be shoved into a microwave and burned to death.

Yeah. I have a suggestion for punishment. I fully believe that the punishment should fit the crime. This "cruel and unusual" crap doesn't refer to gassing someone or lethal injection or electric chair. Or even firing squad. Heck, that stuff's tame compared to my idea of the death penalty. If someone burns a baby in a microwave oven, build a huge microwave and stick the person in it--it's called an incinerator. Do it while their alive. Why? Because that's what they did. To a BABY.

I have better ideas for rapists. And child molesters. I'm a very twisted individual and yet, a rather productive member of society. At least I think so.

Anyway.

Point. The jury in this case couldn't agree on the death penalty for this woman. So... she gets life in jail without parole.

That's more than her one-month-old daughter will ever have. She has no life. She has nothing to look forward to. She'll never go to kindergarten...graduate high school...earn a Master's degree...

Her mother, on the other hand, gets to sit in a state penitentiary and, on the tax payer's dime, earn a college degree through the education program. She gets 3 square meals a day, exercise, and the chance to work. For the rest of her life. Food, shelter, clothing... Sounds like a pretty good deal.

All for killing a baby!

Yeah, that's our justice system. A jury of your peers who don't believe killing you for killing a child is right. If you do the crime, fess up and pay the consequences. If that means you die for it, guess what? You should have thought about that before you killed someone.

And while we're on this topic... Rapists and child molesters. You people get off (no pun intended) virtually scott-free. Yes, yes, you register as a sex offender, but you know what, America? If it happened once, it will most likely happen again. Seven years in jail isn't going to "reform" a rapist. It may a child molester. From what I understand, they become the "wife" of some guy named "Biff." Whether they want to or not. Which is okay by me.

Rapists...they should be castrated. Barring that, they should have a notch made in their penis and then the families of the victims get to take either side and pull--like a wishbone. Oh, and don't let him be asleep for it. He should be awake. Wide awake.

Medieval torture fascinates me. As does Roman torture...It was a long time before I realized Iron Maiden was a rock group... The worst form of torture, however is reading this story. No seriously... read it. You'll come to appreciate torture, I promise. You could always try this version...

Incinerate. Decapitate. Whatever death fits the crime. Do it. It's only cruel and unusual if the murderer himself is creative.

Smarter Than...?

So, in Georgia--the State, not the country--Kathy Cox went on a game show called "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader" and won the $1million grand prize. That's a wonderful accomplishment, considering the educational development of most of the people on our country. She answered the ten questions correctly to get to the million dollar question--"Who was the longest reigning British monarch?" I know the answer to that question. But, I would have made a political statement and said Queen Elizabeth II (that's the current monarch, for those unaware of the fact there's a world outside of the US). Why? Because I'm sure she's just trying to outlive Charles so that someone less dense than he can take over the throne--like one of his sons.

Anyway.

This story isn't something to really rant about...unless you've read the original article by this point and noticed that I've left out something about the woman--her job. I'll wait while you all rush to find out what it is. I have all day.

Oh, fine, she's the Superintendent of the school district. So, theoretically, she should be smarter than a fifth grader. But, let's not jump to conclusions on that. Anyway, she used this prize money for the school district, which is a wonderful idea. Why does this irritate me?

BECAUSE PEOPLE COMPLAINED ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, yes! "She has better things to do with her time."

Obviously, you don't. If you're complaining about the superintendent winning a family-centric game show about education, then using the money for the school district, you clearly have no life. Or intelligence. Or sanity. Does Cthulhu talk to you in your sleep or something?!

Now, another thing that really got me was the author of this article felt the need to tell everyone she's a Republican. Why? Is it really necessary? Even if it's an elected position, is it really necessary? Would she have been ridiculed less if she was a Democrat? What if she were Libertarian? Is it that, as a Republican, she is allying herself with the Big Oil companies and the money she won from the contest is actually going to support Big Oil rather than, say, Education?

It all comes down to oil, doesn't it.

The War on Terror's over. The terrorists won. They've scared Americans stupid. How do I know this? Because we're complaining about everything. The superintendent wins $1million for the school district and she "has better things to do with her time." Our President is still searching Iran for the weapons of mass destruction. Bin Laden is probably well preserved in some holy temple somewhere and someone's probably communing with his spirit so that they know what his wishes for Al Quaida were...and we're doing what? Oh, right, establishing a US-Friendly government...in IRAQ.

Whatever.

If you're complaining about someone else doing something good for their district, you're either jealous...or stupid. Most likely both.