Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Drug-induced Benefits

It's been a long time comin'. I've been saving up my ire for something so controversial and juicy that it just had to be ranted upon.

This is it.

Lemme just say this: If I'm paying for you not to work, you don't get to spend my hard-earned money on drugs.


I totally and whole-heartedly endorse this. ACLU, SCREW YOU! In this recession, I think it's COMPLETELY fair to know that my money isn't paying for a druggie to continue to get high. I'd like to make sure that the money I'm paying into the system isn't paying to help reinforce a bad and illegal habit. I think I have that right.

Screw privacy issues here. We're not talking about full cavity searches or pat-downs at the airport. We're talking about making sure that the money you're trying to collect for unemployment isn't being squandered on something illegal. Because, you know what? THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING!!! I'm not paying my money for you to sit on your butt and smoke crack while your ninety billion kids from fifty thousand daddies are running about and spray-painting James Hetfield's house.

We've lost our sense of responsibility. I don't think I need to give you links on where I came up with that thought. There's a little thing to the right that lists dates. Pick a blog...just about any blog (except this one, this one, and this one)...and you will be inundated with the stupidity and lack of American responsibility.

It's what I do.

I bring you Darwin's Greatests. This is evidence that evolution is false: survival of the fittest doesn't work. It's survival of the lucky. That's the Leprechaun's thing... along with his pink hearts, yellow moons, green clovers, blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes. Shows how old I am. Lucky Charms used to be mostly "X"'s with the five shapes. I remember when they added the purple horseshoes. I liked the marshmellows, but I actually liked the "X"'s more.

If I wanted marshmellows, I just ate Frankenberry, Booberry, or Count Chocula cereals. I miss those cereals.

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