Monday, September 22, 2008

Joining the Military


You've graduated high school and you want to do your duty and serve your county, so you sign up to join the military. Depending on your branch of choice, your basic training can be anywhere from six weeks to twelve weeks then you get to go into your happy position as mook.

Guess what?

If you've been hiding under a rock for the past 7 years, we're involved in a war. Excuse me, two wars...though, no one talks about the one we should be fighting. If you do not wish to have your butt be a target for some crazed person holding a grenade launcher...


Conscientious objector my left eye! There was a time when that phrase was useful--and those people weren't in the military. Because the military is about FIGHTING WARS.

You don't have to agree with the orders given by your superiors...sadly, you have to follow them. Unless they violate some ethical code (as in, "You must [insert sex act here] if you want to be promoted"] or something extreme like that, you don't really get a choice.

Defecting to another country will not save you. Especially if you're defecting to CANADA. Of course, in this case, Canada played right into this guy's hands. "He would suffer irreparable harm..." Yes. He'd be hazed. Possibly even have the crap kicked out of him by his unit. Or even shot.

Definitely court-martialed. A dishonorable discharge is really not worth the trouble. It looks terrible on a resume. I doubt anyone's going to ask about your "conscientious objection" to a war that most people agree is stupid, but it's what the US wants. Your objection could have cost your unit their lives.

Be happy they aren't trying you for murder.

Be happy you're not so important in this world to make a huge difference to the success of your mission. You must have been dropped on your head when you were a kid. Seriously, mate. If you're going to join the military, do yourself and your country a favor and just don't sign up if you don't want to get shot at.


As for Canada's stay on this matter.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

Send his butt back to America--or, you know what? No. Keep him. We don't want him back. We'll revoke his citizenship and his rights and you can have him. Let him join the RCMP and conscientiously object to some of the things they do. See how long it lasts. And when he defects back into America, we'll kick him right back to you.

Or, hold on to him and say, "No, no...we can't send him back. His psyche may be damaged by the consequences of his stupidity."

Gimme a break. Send him to Iraq. Without a weapon. Let him conscientiously object over there. We have more important things to do... like rip apart Sara Palin and laugh at Ralph Nader.

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