The New Symbol of America

...from an e-mail from my SO....

Official Announcement: In Light of the 'Bailout'

The Federal government announced today that it is changing its symbol from an Eagle to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. See, a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.




Yes, I know this thing has been floating about for awhile and from several different countries. At least it's while Bush is in office and not Clinton. I'm sure there's a sexual reference you can make there. I don't have to do it for you. Just remember this link...

My job here is done.

Seriously: Greater Evil 2008

U GAIZ. SRSLY.

Seriously, you guys.


Moveon.org (a name that makes me laugh) has launched a campaign against Sen. Elizabeth Dole and Sen. John McCain because they're allowing the oil companies to keep $13.5 billion in tax breaks. Seriously. Watch the video about it here.

Read the rest of the story here.

Currently, a bill encouraging cleaner energy and a repayment of the $13.5 billion from the oil companies has been stopped, yet again. The only ones who are passing this bill are the democrats. Now, I don't pretend to have a clue what's in the bill or exactly what it does. But, I also do not assume to be naive when it comes to thinking about things. If all the democrats in the Senate, except one, is voting for this bill and none of the Republicans (and one democrat) are voting against this bill...it makes me stop and say, "Hmmmmmm?"

So, how do John McCain and Elizabeth Dole fit into this?

From what I can tell...they're Republicans.

That's it.

John McCain wasn't even present at the recent vote. He was in Iowa. Campaigning. Ya know, for election to President? That thing we get to vote on in November? Oh, and on a side note: If you don't vote, you don't get to complain about the President, mkay? Mkay.

In fact, according to an article on CBSNews, the only person in the running that even voted at all for this bill was Barak Obama in 2005, granting the big oil companies $3 billion in new giveaways.

I'll let that sink in.

Time's up.

So, two people who have nothing to do with this Energy Bill are getting lambasted for "allowing it to continue" because they're choosing not to jump on the bandwagon and actually thinking about the repercussions of misleading statements contained elsewhere in the document, and the very person who helped establish the $13.5 billion in tax breaks is currently the Democratic nominee for President?

Wow.

McCain should win just because he looks like an older Bruce Willis.

What? If people can make ludicrous statements about houses and oil companies, I can say ludicrous things about looks, right? I mean, who wouldn't want a Bruce Willis look-a-like for President?! I mean, yes, it'd be better if it were Chuck Norris, but still.

"Yippee-kai-yai-yay, Mother Truckers!"

Same Sex Marriages a State Decision? Heck Yeah!

In a recent interview with Rev. Rick Warren, Obama and McCain were both asked about their stances on abortion and same-sex marriages. Both said they were pro-choice and anti-same sex marriages--for relatively the same reasons. But, both also agreed that it wasn't for the Federal Government to decide on the marriage licensing.

What's that? The STATE gets to decide something? AMAZING!

When "our forefathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal," they set up some pretty specific guidelines for creating laws. Like, anything not enumerated in Constitution was given to the authority of the States. In fact, Amendment X of the Bill of Rights states,

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Since when was my choice of whom I married a matter of National importance? It's a matter of State importance. Why? Because I need to have my marriage legally recognized within the state I live in order to receive the benefits entitled to me.

Also, since when is my decision to kill my unborn child a matter of National importance? It's not. It's not really even a State concern. It's my issue. If I want to kill a defenseless fetus, that's my choice. Not yours. It's your choice to judge me and think of me as a bad person. That's your loss.

I'm growing quite weary of the United States government legislating my free will. It's called "Free Will" for a reason. Do I personally think abortion is wrong? Yes. It's murder. But, since we've already "scientifically" established that life does, in fact, not begin at conception, then for those who believe abortion is the best option, feel free to kill willy-nilly.

For the rest of us who believe life does begin at conception, blowing up an abortion clinic is wrong! I mean, think about it. You're killing people who are killing babies. Two wrongs do not make a right. Frankly, if you want to protest an abortion clinic, that's also your choice. But, if you jump in front of my car to get me to notice you, you'll just end up with a Volkswagon tattoo.

There is an amendment that allows the peaceful gathering of people together. Jumping into traffic to prove your point is just plain dumb. I'm not an evolutionist, but I do believe in survival of the fittest. And jumping in front of my car will prove that theory correct. Who knows? You may make a good hood ornament. Then, perhaps, your life will have been worth something...even if just to serve as a warning to others.

Who do we want for a President in 2008? Obama--the second African-American to be nominated for President; Clinton--for her second go-around; or McCain--is he really smarter than Bush? I don't know. I'm not sure who I'm going to vote for. I have silly reasons for not liking Obama. I have solid reasons for not liking Clinton. I have vague reasons for not liking McCain. But, unfortunately, they're our options.

Or...

Vote for me! The Rogue Assassin! I'll take a write-in under the Libertarian party....